I am intimidated.

I just found out Linetrap’s penis is the same size as my own.  Hmm!  Delicious cock cake.

Don’t open the red door.

IT’S A TARP! And also, FIRE (exclamation mark)!!!!111oneeleven

Linetrap is sexy.

However, linetarp is not.

I used linetarp to cover up my anime figurines and the wind blew it away.

Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!

<3 Linetrap.  Looking forward to hearing from you.

All the best,

Maurice Moss.

THE NEEDLE’S FREAKING OUT!!!

This blog exists for one reason only.

MY SITUATION:  Fuck this shit.  Yep, that pretty much sums it up.  Despite all of my successes and the hurdles I’ve managed to jump over in life, I feel empty.

MY UNEXPECTED TWIST:  The girl known by those on 4chan as “Linetrap” and on Shemale Yum as “Harley Quinn.”  I saw her one day in a “trap” thread and she stole my heart away.  The “tranny” thing doesn’t bother me much; I actually like that.  She even gets her own ED article if you want pics.

MY DISCOVERY:  On her MySpace page, she has a blog post saying she has had trouble finding a good man.  She’s single and sick of being that way!  She seems to want someone who likes her for her.

MY NEW GOAL IN LIFE:  At a minimum, go out on a date with her at least once.  Get to know her for who she is.  Everything I’ve found out about her so far appeals to me greatly.  I want a chance to explore the possibilities.

MY HUMBLE REQUEST TO THE INTERNETS:  Help me secure a date with her!  <3

JUST TO BE CLEAR:  This is not a joke or a mere attempt to “get in bed with a trap.”  I’m dead serious.

I’ll post updates whenever something happens.  Wish me the best of luck!  To answer the question in my first comment below, you can contact me simply by leaving a comment.  It’ll be E-mailed to me for moderation anyway.  I don’t want to post my E-mail and get spamblasted.

Apparently some on 4chan think I’m a hero. Heh.

It’s amazing how many people were real douches when I expressed a genuine desire to secure a date with the infamous “Linetrap.”  Some of the things that were said couldn’t have been much nastier.  Then again, these are the kinds of people I’d probably scare the living fuck out of in real life without lifting a finger.  (True story: when I delivered pizza several years ago to apartments where two other delivery dudes were harassed and one almost robbed, I went to the same troublesome building with the stereotypical “urban youth” outside the front, and by the time I got done with the sale, they were fucking GONE.  I walk like I’ll kill anyone in my path, according to my friends–I guess sometimes it’s a good thing.)

After filtering through the /b/-like douchebaggery, some people expressed support.  Hell, one comment to this blog already demands my success, and you know how hard it is to make Interbutt peoples do anything other than troll for yiff-tackular shite, so that makes it all the more powerful.

So, now that I’m past the “fag that should kill himself” stage with 4chantards, it looks like they wish me well.

Good shite.  Good shite, ’tis.

<3 Linetrap.