This blog exists for one reason only.

MY SITUATION:  Fuck this shit.  Yep, that pretty much sums it up.  Despite all of my successes and the hurdles I’ve managed to jump over in life, I feel empty.

MY UNEXPECTED TWIST:  The girl known by those on 4chan as “Linetrap” and on Shemale Yum as “Harley Quinn.”  I saw her one day in a “trap” thread and she stole my heart away.  The “tranny” thing doesn’t bother me much; I actually like that.  She even gets her own ED article if you want pics.

MY DISCOVERY:  On her MySpace page, she has a blog post saying she has had trouble finding a good man.  She’s single and sick of being that way!  She seems to want someone who likes her for her.

MY NEW GOAL IN LIFE:  At a minimum, go out on a date with her at least once.  Get to know her for who she is.  Everything I’ve found out about her so far appeals to me greatly.  I want a chance to explore the possibilities.

MY HUMBLE REQUEST TO THE INTERNETS:  Help me secure a date with her!  <3

JUST TO BE CLEAR:  This is not a joke or a mere attempt to “get in bed with a trap.”  I’m dead serious.

I’ll post updates whenever something happens.  Wish me the best of luck!  To answer the question in my first comment below, you can contact me simply by leaving a comment.  It’ll be E-mailed to me for moderation anyway.  I don’t want to post my E-mail and get spamblasted.

Not Trollin’. Fight Equality Now’s Lies, Say Yes To Freedom

Usually I’m trollin’ on this here blog.  But I’m not trollin’ about this.

These fags called Equality Now are trying to ruin the Japanese anime industry, particularly the hentai a lot of you readers love to fap to.  They’re religious zealots who misappropriate funds meant for causes such as stopping female genital mutilation (READ: CHOPPING OFF THE MAN IN THE BOAT AND SEWING THE BOAT SHUT WITH NO ANESTHETICS) and use it instead to bitch and moan at the Japanese government about DRAWINGS of naked people.  Not even “real world 3D” porn, completely made-up out of someone’s head 2D pencil patterns that depict all kinds of interesting sexual things.

So, Equality Now is trying to B& your goods.  Even though they can’t because of the Internet and Anonymous, they can surely choke off the supply of new good stuff if we don’t fight back immediately.  Get off your otaku ASS and go help Yes To Freedom.  Please.

Now back to your regularly scheduled TROLLIN’.

Equality Now? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT

These nutsacks called “Equality Now” are trying to have hentai banned.  We’re all 4channers here, so we know how BULLSHIT that is.

Sankaku Complex did an article on the topic, and at the end there’s a link to this blog which details some of the butthurt.

Watch out for fags that scream “BACK IN THE KITCHEN” in the comments.  It’s a meme but Equality Now is too stupid to figure it out…

On the topic of “Doub LeNigra”

I can’t believe that someone came up with that name.  Somehow it is the funniest thing I’ve read all minute…

The bad part is that it took me ten minutes to figure out WTF LOL it was!

Honorary Spammer

So this faggot comments me and wants me to shamelessly promote his tiny little computer business.  Since he is a l33t h4xx0r, I will do just that so I don’t end up like Richard Gill did when Crash Override got done with him.  That and because he liked my IT crowd reference and I’m happy to have sex with help any geek in need.

In honor of l33t h4xx0rf4g, here’s a bit of spamlink shite to his uber super duper hacking cracking beesnas of much tarp.  Also, antidisestablishmentarianism.  Oh, wow, the spell checker didn’t highlight that word, either…

Tarplink 1

Tarplink 2

If you want an honorary spam, fuck with me by leaving a comment and not sucking ass.

Also, cAPS lOCK.  And STOP MASTURBATING TO ANIMAL PENISES.

Now I shall proceed to dream of Linetrap while pasting this string of search engine keyword spam I copypasta’d from somewhere else to help the l33t h0m13 out:  100 Base T, 10 Base T, 104-key keyboard, 10 base 2, 10 base 5, 16450,16550a16 bit, 30 pin simm, 32 bit processor, 3D graphics, 3COM, 10/100, 10/1000, 10base-2, 10base-5, 10base-F, 10 base-T, 47 USC 227, 100base-F, 100base-T, 386, 486, 403 FORBIDDEN, 404 NOT FOUND, 640K limit, 802.11, 1000base-T1394, 2600, 8088, 68000, 80286, 80386, 80486, Abort, Abort, Retry, Fail?, abs, A/B switch, absolute address, 64 bit, 72 pin, aamof, abandon, A-B roll editing, absolute address, absolute link, absolute path, absolute value, Abstract Syntax Notation One ASN.1, Accelerated Graphics Port, accelerator board, Acceptable Use Policy, access, acceptance test, access code, access control, access control list ACL, access privileges, access time, accessory slot, accumulator, ACK, ACL, ACM, acoustic, ACT!, active area, active cell, active configuration, active database, active file, active index, active matrix display, active sensing, active termination, active window, activeX, acticeX control, activity light, actuator, ada, adapter, Acrobat, active matrix, ActiveX, Ada, administrator, Adobe Systems, Adobe Type Manager, ADSL, adware, .areo, AFK, AGP, .ai, ALGOL, aliasing, alt, Altair, Alta Vista, Amazon.com, AMI, Amp, adapter segment, adaptive answering, ADB, A/D converter, ADCPM, address ability, address bus, address mask, address resolution protocal, adjacency operator, adobe acrobat, Framemaker, Illustrator, pagemaker, pagemill, photoshop, postscript, type manager, ADPCM, ADSL, advances interactive eXecutive, Advanced Micro Devices AMD, K5 K6, advanced power management, ARPA, ARLL, ASPI, advanced set up option, advanced technology attachment packet interface ATAPI, AFAIK, AFK, agate, aftermarket, agate, agent, aggregate function, aggregate operator, AGP, AI, AIFF, AIX, alert box, ALGOL, algorithm, alias, aliasing, alignment, allocate, all points addressable graphic APA, Alta Vista, alt hierarchy, alt key, alphanumeric characters, alpha software, Beta, ALU, am386, am486, am486DX2, am486DX4, am5x86, ANSI, America Online AOL, AOL er, APache, amplified speaker,analog computer, analog-to digital converter, ADC, FTP, ANSI, ANSI Cantivirus software, amiga, Ami Pro, ampersand, analog, analog device, analogical reasoning, analog modem, analog monitor, analog to digital converter ad converter, analog transmission, anchor, animated GIF, annotation, anonymous FTP, post, remailer, ANSI, graphics, ANSI/ISO C++, ANSI screen control, ANSI.SYS, answer/ordinate, anti-aliasing, anticipatory paging, anti glare, anti static, antivirus, APA graphic, aperture grille, API, APL, APM, APP, Append, Apple menu, Apple computer, MAC, macintosh, apple desktop bus interface, apple file exchange, applet, Application Menu, arc, appleshare, applet, appletalk, application heap , ACAP, application layer, API, APL, archie gateway, archival backup, archive attribute site, areal density, ALU, ARLL, ARP, ARPA, artificial intelligence AI, arpanet, array, article selector, ASC, asterisk, asynchronous, AS, ASCII art file character sort order transfer, ASM, ASN.1 ASPI, assembler, assembly language, assigned number, ACM, ASM, AWC, association of shareware professionals, AST research, ADSL, asynchronous, ATA 2 3 ATAPI, AYA packet interface ATAPI, AT attachment, AT bus, AT keyboard, ATM, AT size case, ARCnet, attachment, encoding, attenuation, attribute, ATM, ATN, at sign, @, attachment, audio, audit trail, authorware, Autoexec.bat, avatar, AVI file, ATX, AU, audio file, audit track, AUP, authentication, authoring, Autocad, AUTOEXEC.BAT, auto-logon, ADP Automatic Data Processing, automatic head parking, ASN, AS, autoplay, autorepeat key, autosave, autosizing, autostart routine, autotrace, A/UX, AUX, Auxiliary battery, storage, AVI, AWC AWK, AWT, AX. 25backbone, baby AT case motherboard, backbone cable site, backdoor, back door, backlit, backslash, backup copy, Backus-Naur form, bandwidth, bank switching, banner, banner ad, bare metal, bar graph, back end processor, background, backlighting, backlit display, backoff, back office, backplane, back quote, backslash, backspace, backup utility, Backus Naur Form BNF, backword chaining compatible, bad break, bad page break, bad sector, bad track, bad track table, BAK, Ball bat, balloon help, band stepper actuator, bandwidth, bang, bang path, bank switching, bar code, base64, baseband, base font, base level synthesizer, baseline, base memory, BASIC, Basica, basic encoding rules BER, Basic rate interface BRI, BAT, batch file, BAT file, Bcc, Bezier spline, batch processing, battery pack. baud rate, BBS, bed BCD, Bell103A, Bell 212A, benchmark program, BeOS, BER, BSD, Berkeley Unix, Bernoulli box, Beta, beta site, beta software, beta test, bibliographic retrieval service, bidirectional parallel port, bidirectional printing, big blue, big-endian, bin, binaries, big-endian, binary coded decimal, binary file, binary newsgroup, binary numbers, binary transfer, binary tree predictive coding, binder, binding offset, BinHex, BIOS, B-ISDN, bit, bitmap, bit-mapped font, bit-mapped graphic, BinHex, BIOS, BIOS enumerator, BIST, .biz, bit bucket, bloatware, BITNET, bits per inch, bpi, bits per second, bps, bleed, blessed folder, blind carbon copy, bbc, bloat, bloatware, blackmailware, block, Blue Book, blue screen of death, bluetooth, .bmp, blurb, BMP, BNC connector, BNF, bogus newsgroup, boilerplate, boldface, bomb, bookmark, Boolean logic, Boolean operator, Bolllean search, boot, boot disk, BOOTP, boot sector, boot sector virus, boot sequence, Border Gateway Protocal, Borland C++, Borland International, bot, bottleneck, bps, breakpoint, bridge, briefcase, brightness, bring to front, broadband, broken hyperlink, broken pipe, brownout, browse master, browser, BSD, b-spline, bubble sort, buddy list, buffer, bug, bullet, bulletin board, bundled software, burn cd, burn dvd, bus, button, byte, bytecode, C#, CA, cable modem, cache, cacls, CAD, computer-aided design, CAI, Cairo, cakebox, calibration, CALL, callout, call waiting, -cam, CAM, camel notation, digital camera, camera-ready camera, cancelbot,, caps, caps lock cap lock, capture, carbon application, carbonized application, carbon copy, cardbus, caret, careware, carpal tunnell syndrome, carriage return, carrier, cartridge, cascade, cascading menu, cascading style sheet, CASE, case, case sensitive, cat-3, cat-5, cat 5e, cat-6, cat-7, category3 cable, category 5 cable, CAV, CBDTA, cc, Cc, CCD image sensor, CCITT, ccTLD, CD, CDA, CD-E, CDFS, CD-R, CD-ROM, CD-ROM XA, CD-RW, cell, CE, celeron, cellular modem, cellular telephone, centi-, central processing unit, cpu, Centronics interface, certificate authority, CGI, CGM, .ch, chad, chain letter, channel, character, charge coupled device, chat room, check box, checksum, child, child process, chip, chipset, chmod, chroma keying, chromogenic print, CICS, CIO, CIPA,circularity, circumflex, CISC, Cisco Systems, class A, class B, classic application, class library, click, clickable image, clickworker, client, client-side application, clip art, clipboard, clipping, clock, overclock, clone, clone tool, close, cluster, CLV, CMOS, CMOS image sensor, CMOS RAM, CMS, CMYK, coaster, coaxial cable, COBOL, Cocoa application, code, codec, code page, code signing, coding, cold boot, cold start, cold link, collate, collating sequence, collector, collision, color, color channel, color gray map, color replacer, color separations, .com, COM, COM1, COM2, Comdex, command button, command key, command line, command prompt, common logarithm, Compact flash, Compaq, CPQ, compatible, compiler, compile time error, complement, component, compositing, Compuserve, Computational linguistics, computer, computer architecture, computer ethics, computer law, computer science, computer security, computer trespass, computer virus, concatenation, concurrent processing, conferencing, config.sys, configure, console, console application, console mode, control box, control key, control menu, control panel, control point,
control strip, CONUS, conversion program, convolution, convolve, cookie, cookies, .coop, COPPA, compressor, copy, copy left, copy protection, copyright, COBRA, core, Corel, CP/M, CPU, CR, cravker, crash, crawler, Cray Research, IncCRC, creeping featureism, crippleware, CRLF, CRM, CRT, crunch mode, cryptography, C/SC, CSMA/CD, CSS, Ctrl, Ctrl-Alt-Del, crossover cable, cross-platform, cross-post, cubic spline, cue, curly brackets, current, current directory, current drive, currency loop, cursor, cusp node, cut, cyan, cyber-, cyber cafe, cybernetics, cyberpunk, cyberspace, cybersquatting, cyburbia, cycle, cyclical redundancy check, cylinder, Cyrillic.

Why did I stop here?  Because I reserved everything with D’s or bigger for my own pleasure! LOLZ LULZ LUBERLULZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111…which is over nine thousand (9000).

I am intimidated.

I just found out Linetrap’s penis is the same size as my own.  Hmm!  Delicious cock cake.

Don’t open the red door.

IT’S A TARP! And also, FIRE (exclamation mark)!!!!111oneeleven

Linetrap is sexy.

However, linetarp is not.

I used linetarp to cover up my anime figurines and the wind blew it away.

Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!  Tarp!

<3 Linetrap.  Looking forward to hearing from you.

All the best,

Maurice Moss.

THE NEEDLE’S FREAKING OUT!!!

Apparently some on 4chan think I’m a hero. Heh.

It’s amazing how many people were real douches when I expressed a genuine desire to secure a date with the infamous “Linetrap.”  Some of the things that were said couldn’t have been much nastier.  Then again, these are the kinds of people I’d probably scare the living fuck out of in real life without lifting a finger.  (True story: when I delivered pizza several years ago to apartments where two other delivery dudes were harassed and one almost robbed, I went to the same troublesome building with the stereotypical “urban youth” outside the front, and by the time I got done with the sale, they were fucking GONE.  I walk like I’ll kill anyone in my path, according to my friends–I guess sometimes it’s a good thing.)

After filtering through the /b/-like douchebaggery, some people expressed support.  Hell, one comment to this blog already demands my success, and you know how hard it is to make Interbutt peoples do anything other than troll for yiff-tackular shite, so that makes it all the more powerful.

So, now that I’m past the “fag that should kill himself” stage with 4chantards, it looks like they wish me well.

Good shite.  Good shite, ’tis.

<3 Linetrap.